I've been gone.

... and I have nothing to show for it. Sophomore year is hard, much harder than I thought it was going to be. I might put up some of my pictures recently, or I might get caught up when something else.

For the last hour, I've been reading the articles of Cat Marnell. I haven't figured out if I absolutely abhor her or if she's my soulmate. Nonetheless, I get her. She's an unforgivable, unforgiving drug addict, but unlike other drug-addicts in the spotlight, she allows the drugs she take to be in the spotlight. A little lost Edie Sedgwick, or a wannabe Andy Warhol Superstar? I figure she's both. She's already so caught up in the world she lives or doesn't live in (in her case) that there's no return. Quit her job and just blogs about her habits. Perhaps pure, gluttony genius? In a way, am I feeling the slightest envy? I've always been attracted to stories about addictions (and eerily, she says the same thing), so I could have just spent my career analyzing the habits of those fucked-up rich kids of the parties that I go to.

And maybe throw in a little of me. I'm not as bad as I used to be. I've put my "chasing-the-edge" dream on hold for while, but I still don't know what I should be chasing. Maybe my story is like that of Frankenstein. Victor Frankenstein spent his whole life exacting revenge on his creation, and when he finally does, he realizes he has nothing to live for. Maybe when I finally figure out what I need to be living for, there's nothing to look forward to. Must I live for the chase?

Moments of the Beautiful Chaos

Waiting at the airport on my way toShit. This year is done. I dare all the future freshmen to have a year as insane as mine. I have so many college pics that I simply just can't put online. But the ones that I can, here you go.

Permanent Fade

So I got tatted, and I can't help but show it off. I apologize in advance, because there will be more in the future.

MIA

I just lost the will to post all semester. Fucked up some (which means a lot), broke some laws, paying the consequences, going broke, made out with every animal I see, messed up two weddings, getting lost at the airport, having to stay at a hotel overnight because my first plane was late to my connecting flight,said some stupid things, met my soulmates, had some of the best weekends because of them, loved/hated life at the same time. So here's all my best memories.

P.S. And since I know, my roommate creeps on me: I fucking love her.

They Promised...

I can never look at a vodka bottle the same way again. In fact, I might not even be able to look at it without vomitting. Never have I hated a day like today. Got home around 7 am. Puked at 4 am. Puked again at 8 am and continued until 1 PM. Last night, alcohol whisked away my strength and left me incapable and defenseless. Though I feel physically better, just thinking about the moments after beer pong churns up all my leftover organs. Never again.

Majority of 24 hrs.

White Sweater Tee (MY), Silver Turtleneck Top--underneath (vintage), Lime Green Skirt (Arden B), Necklace (vintage)

Exhausted. Watched the midnight showing for Transformers 3 last night. (Cheesiest movie that I've seen in awhile. Not sure it was worth the 2hrs&45min I could've saved for some zzz's) Came home at 3 am. Went to bed around 4 am. Woke up at 7:30 am. Learned to sew till 11 am. Went shopping. Not buying anything until the final stop at H&M where I ended leaving with 6 basics. (still upset that mother wouldn't let me buy this awesome swan crepe shirt) Along the way, I stupidly trusted my little sister with my phone. Ended up getting lost. Without a phone for the 4th time these 1 1/2 years. But for the 1st time, it ain't my fault.

P.S. Taken from a dressing room. Note the sleep-deprived face.

P.P.S. Oh and I have shingles.

Some Buy Castles.

Denim Shirt (vintage), Grey Top Thingy (Charlotte Russe), Leather Belt (Levi's), Black Jeans (F21), White Converse , Lion Necklace (DIY)

When I say a day, I meant more like a week.

Anyhoo, this is pretty much what I wore to Phoneix. What a warm and welcoming city. (When I say warm, I also mean the temperature.) There are so many Native American artifacts, jewerly, and art that truly, the town never gets boring. We came in the morning so we were practically the only one there. I didn't end up buying the suede, authentic cowboy hat but I was dying to if it wasn't for the price.

P.S. When I have my own house, I'd decorate it all with skulls, skeletons, and body parts. However wrong that sounds. Anyhoo, that jeweled cow skull is the first thing that'll be in my living room.

1 More 356 days

At Old Town, Phoenix, Arizona


Late, definitely. I've missed Christmas so I was certainly not going to miss New Years.

I gave up on resolutions and shit because I believe everything is a step in progression and there shouldn't be a sudden decision to change. Those quick "Hey! Why don't I do this?" never work.

Anyhoo, sorry for the unexciting happenings. I'm practically scrambling to finish schoolwork that I should've finished 2 weeks ago. Perhaps it's because I'm one of those people who don't give a crap whether or not it's New Year's or not. And most probably because my family is pretty much terrible on celebrating so I gave up on caring. (If I do recall, last year, I believe I got a bit woozy on some New Year Eve's alcohol. And I don't even remember what. That was probably the most exciting thing that happened that day.)

New Year Eve celebration this year didn't really start until 6 PM. Or 8 PM. Mellow like every other day but at least I spent it with a couple of people that I adored. One of my best friends started bitching at me though, but I know he loves me. :D Overall, it was pretty peaceful. Until some cops scared the shit out of us (or me especially--I believe I sent a string of obvious f-bombs when I saw those flashlights). Then we found out they were just warning us that the park closes at 10 PM. Paused at the Top of the World, Laguna Beach and there was nobody there. Just the 4 of us. How f--king boring is my town? If it was New York, there would be some radical party.

I feel like I'm making myself sound bad-ass, which I really am not AT ALL, so I will stop right now.

P.S. "I've got a sex pistol pointed right at you... BANG!"--Drake (caption for photo... will post more tomorrow)

Time Wasted Worthy

Leopard Coat (Newport News), White Buttondown Shirt (secondhand), Black Motorcycle Jacket (H&M Divided), Silver Cross Necklace (DIY), Denim Shorts (Cherokee), Polkadotted Tights (Forever 21), White Converse

4 cities in 4 days. So for Christmas, we roamed around Nevada, Grand Canyon, and Arizona. Be prepared for a vast load of photos to come... in of course, no particular order. Knowing me, I will probably always ward off things till the last moment. By the time, I'm done uploading everything, it'll be 2011 already. (Note to self: finish reading Much Ado About Nothing) Grand Canyon was one of the last places we visited, so I have no idea why I'm putting these first.

I wish I was, but I am not, a naturey kind of person. I enjoy hikes and all that, but I don't get the same exact ecstacticness as I would get whenever I'm in a city or a town. Grand Canyon, I do have to admit was pretty breathtaking. Props to my little sister for "making" me chase her to all the way to the top. I also adored the Native American culture . The rugged cowboys are very charming and very polite. I need more of those around Cali.

Trinkets in Sexchines.

First 2 photos are little jewerly that I made. A few days after that crappy photo was taken, I made 3 more rings. A cross, a silver leaf, and a gold spider. When it comes to jewelry, I'm not that obssessed. Sometimes it's practicality and my obvious clumsiness. I don't know, maybe it's my fear of dropping these metal things down the toilet. Losing them a week after buying them is inevitable. Also, I never find any that I like. And the ones I do like cost major bucks.
All my weaknesses clumped together has propelled me to make my own little "trinkets". Cue the super glue on skin, floor, carpet, etc. and some major pain along the way. Nevertheless, I am much more proud of crap I make myself. I would've boasted my 3 little new babies but until I get a camera, I can't. With my ancient piece of machinery, all photos that come out are blurry and incomprehensible.

The last few photos are outdated from Knott's for my 17th birthday. I was in debate to actually show photos of my crazy friends who made that day happen, but then again their privacy is also very important to me. Instead, here's a vision of a ride that I didn't have the balls to go on, roosters and hens that surprised us at the end of the days (and can amazingly climb trees), my face that summed up what I felt about the whole day, and a perfectly-screwed-up photobooth picture (I was devirginized of never being in a photobooth. They say that your first experience sucks, but I didn't think it could've been better. Especially loving the last photo of me supposedly giving my friend a hickey, who by the way was 1 of the FOUR girls that was in the booth. Hilariously, her face was the only one that came out and the only person that you can see in all 4 slides.)

P.S. I'm promising to put up some actual outfit posts soon. Just did my SAT Subject tests this morning so I'm finally semi-free.